THE JUSTICE YOU SEEK RESTS IN YOUR WALLET

THE JUSTICE YOU SEEK

RESTS IN YOUR WALLET

It’s been 6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days, 13 hours & 28 minutes

Since your lawyer started arguing out your case.

He has furnished the honourable court

With every evidence necessary.

I must confess that I love his manner of presentation.

I love his ability to boldly defend his position.

I admire his eloquence in the court room.

His confidence & power to punch holes

In the submissions of his opponent is just awesome.

You know you have a good case

And I must admit that the case ought to go your way.

But my dear plaintiff,

You know as much as I do

That before a hand goes another hand must come.

If you don’t scratch my back

 How do you expect me to have the comfort to scratch yours?

This case should have been sealed 5 months ago

But I’ve intentionally adjourned it 6 times already

Hoping you might get the hint I’ve been dropping all along.

The court clerks & bailiffs have also been dropping you

Further clues without success.

Have you ever wondered why the docket to your case

Keeps getting missing mysteriously?

It appears you believe in your counsel

More than me the judge presiding over the case.

Well,

I’ve called you to this sacred hideout

Just to find out how serious you are about your case.

The accused who was caught red-handed

Has exhibited more seriousness & zeal

To triumph in the case than you have.

He has made an incredible & juicy offer

 Which the pope might even have difficulty rejecting.

Forget the lengthy & irritating arguments

Those noisy lawyers make in the courtroom.

They will make all the arguments

But the final judgement will eventually come from me.

I represent the law!

The law rests in my bosom!!

I am the law!!!

The pendulum could swing in your favour or otherwise.

It all depends on you.

I really want to help you get justice

So put the bulky evidence aside & let’s talk business.

Coz the justice you seek no longer rests on your evidence.

The justice you seek now rests in your wallet.

ENGAGEMENT LIST

ENGAGEMENT LIST

Her family’s engagement list was almost two A4 pages long.

It was replete with items that could easily qualify

For a drinking spot’s shopping list.

The mere sight of it sent my libido into coma.

Joy Dadi bitters - 2 bottles

J.H Henkes schnapps - 2 bottles

Brandy - 2 bottles

Dry gin - 2 bottles

Locally brewed gin - 2 gallons

Palm Wine - 2 kegs

Whiskey - 2 bottles

Beer - 2 cartons

Stout - 2 cartons

Saki(Rice wine) - 2 bottles

1 white billy-goat with black hind legs
1 white fowl that lays brown eggs

Gift for father-in-law (Should include Jonny Walker whiskey)

Gift for mother-in-law (Preferably washing machine)

Gift for brother-in-law (Preferably hostel fee & Sebago)

Gift for favourite auntie (Preferably rent for 3 months)

Hymnal (Hard copy with soft copy on a black 64gig Scandisk pendrive)

1 Saturday Night dusting powder…

On and on the list went

Amazing!

Scanning through the list, my eyes got puzzled.

I kept wondering…

‘Is this actually an engagement list

Or a shopping list for a drinking spot cum pepper soup joint?’

‘Are they virtually selling off their daughter

Or they’re just making me pay for her feeding cost since kindergarten?’

Hmmm….

How can a young man like me,

Whose take-home-pay isn't even enough to take him home

Get married decently?

How do they expect a lad

Who’s still trying hard to find his feet in life

Cough out these strangulating items?

No wonder ex-aspiring husbands

Like Haruna, Makafui & Tony

Have lost their appetites for marriage of late.

I wish I could take the queen of my heart to the altar.

I wish I could have an angel to call my wife.

I wish I could impregnate Papa Goro’s daughter in wedlock.

I wish I could wrap my arms around her every single night.

But with this engagement list

That can even cause a crab to frown,

How can I get married?

I'M ALREADY TAKEN,YOU SPOKE UP TOO LATE...

I’M ALREADY TAKEN

Great friends have we been since childhood.

Classmates have we been since Primary 2.

You lifted me up whenever I was down.

You stood by me when I really needed support.

Together we went up,

Together we descended.

We were never far apart.

In my mornings you were present.

During my afternoons you were around for lunch.

We enjoyed each other’s company through the evenings

Till we ran short of words.

My message inbox is flooded with your messages.

A ‘Good morning’ message from you was never absent.

At midday, I was sure to receive ‘How has your day been?’ from you,

And at night, ‘Sweet dreams….a 1000 mosquito bites....xoxo’.

We supported Manchester United together

And had mad fun when other EPL teams lost.

 The feeling was exciting!

You were the one who patiently taught me bike-riding.

You aided me in my driving lessons,

And even introduced me to country music.

 The genre of music that I’m currently addicted to.

You’ve become part of me.

You’re virtually a family member

Because your own mother even asks of your whereabouts from me.

We’ve been through thick & thin together.

Together we’ve swam through fire & ice.

We’ve experienced the ‘wows’ & ‘ouchs’ side by side.

Oooh, what a feeling!

It’s been over 7 years since we both turned 18

And I’m amazed you’ve now found your voice & guts

To propose to me after all these years.

It would have been awesome to simply ‘yes’ to your proposal

But I’m really,really sorry, my dear.

Hmmmm…..

It breaks my heart to tell you this

But I think you need to know,

That I’m already taken

You spoke up too late….

HELLO,HELLO CUBA, 177 DOCTORS PLEASE

HELLO, HELLO CUBA,

177 DOCTORS PLEASE

Strike, strike & mass resignation.

This is the saltless meal my doctors are serving me

At a time when election is just a whisker away.

Personally, I have no problem with that

Coz I usually seek medical attention abroad.

It is the ordinary Ghanaian voters that suffer.

They need to be alive to re-elect me in the general elections.

That is a must!

I am doing everything possible to get the doctors back to work.

I have branded their strike as ‘illegal & doesn’t make sense’.

My ministers have threatened them in various ways.

My parrot & often clueless party communicators with sharp teeth

Have lambasted & insulted them openly on daily basis.

Others have even leaked confidential documents on social media,

All in an attempt to incite Ghanaian against the doctors,

And make them appear insensitive & heartless.

I believe the doctors deserve favourable conditions of service.

I know ordinary Ghanaians are suffering & dying

As a result of the strike.

I know doctors sacrifice on daily basis to serve this country.

I know some of my presidential staffers are not as qualified

As the doctors are

Yet receive outrageous salaries & work under luxurious conditions.

I know these doctors provide very,very essential services

But,

 I also need to gain massive political points from the whole situation.

I would have loved to quickly negotiate

And resolve this needlessly protracted standoff

But come on, I need to appear tough & rough.

I need to play hard ball with the doctors.

I can’t swallow my pride and give in to their demands

Because my opponents will use it against me during their campaigns.

Ghanaians are suffering, I know.

Ghanaian voters are dying, that’s a worry.

The taxpayers deserve better, I’m aware

But I can’t kowtow to these local doctors’ demands.

It isn’t in the budget

Just like the millions of dollars airlifted to the Blackstars in Brazil.

The party’s interest must reign over the national interest.

I’ll not agree to the demands of these local doctors.

They can do their worst!

I’ll recall retired doctors

And import Spanish-speaking doctors to take over from them.

P.A., Get me the phone

‘Hello,hello, is that Cuba?

This is Ghana

177 non-English-speaking doctors please’.

WANT ATTENTION? THEN DEMONSTRATE OR STRIKE!!!

WANT ATTENTION?

THEN DEMONSTRATE OR STRIKE!

Oooooh workers on government payroll!

I wonder what more you want from me.

I get puzzled & begin to wonder.

What again do you expect from me?

Health workers, judicial service staff

Teachers & all civil servants.

You complain about every single thing.

Yesterday, it was about salary adjustment.

Today, it is working condition.

Tomorrow, it will surely be about salary arrears.

How do you expect me to keep up with your demands?

Just tell me.

2016 is an election year.

And from the look of events,

You people intend tarnishing my candidature.

That will surely not happen.

There are enough funds in place for election 2016.

There is more than enough in place for campaigns.

We’ve even borrowed enough to purchase luxury four-wheel drives

For party & state officials.

But for your entitlements & demands,

I’m sorry to inform you there aren't enough funds for payment.

You’ll need to do more to get paid.

I’ve increased taxes on goods & services.

It’s uncomfortable but you’ll have to endure.

I’ve placed additional taxes on key products like crude oil

And even expanded the tax net to generate more funds.

All these have fattened the government’s purse

But always bear in mind

That the party always comes before the country.

I wish I could pay all workers their entitlements

After comforting my party faithfuls

But unfortunately the remaining funds can do virtually nothing.

If you really want to get paid after toiling for this dear nation

Then your voices must be heard.

You’ll have to shout louder

Irrespective of your qualification or position.

Whether you’re a doctor, nurse, security official or teacher

You’ll have to shout louder to be paid.

I care less about your contribution to the economy

Neither do I care about the crucial nature of your services.

My ‘dead goat syndrome’ hasn’t been cured yet

Because the doctors to do that are currently on strike.

If you pretend to work,

I’ll also pretend to pay.

So if you want to get your entitlement as a government worker

Then you have just two options.....

Demonstrate or strike!!!

HOLY,HOLY,HOLY YET FILTHY!, FILTHY!!, FILTHY!!!

HOLY, HOLY, HOLY

YET FILTHY!, FILTHY!!, FILTHY!!!

A religious nation we claim to be.

Christians, Muslims, Traditionalists & more.

Each believes in a Supreme Being above

Who is pure in spirit,

Detests sin,

And loves to see His followers live in harmony.

Why Ghana hasn’t replaced Mecca & Israel

As a prime destination for pilgrims is a wonder to me.

Christians are taught

‘The way, the truth & light’ of the Father through Jesus.

Islam preaches peace.

The Traditionalists encourage harmonious living

With the gods & mankind.

Churches are mushrooming in every single corner,

With services being held every single day.

Muslims gather to pray five times per day.

Traditionalists spend precious time

Sacrificing day and night,

All in the name of religion.

But what is the essence of all these religious engagements

When our individual lives are not affected positively?

Of what substance is religion

When our communities & nation keep sinking in all fields?

‘Cleanliness is next to godliness’ we claim.

Why then do we keep drowning this nation in trash each day?

No wonder God appears far from us.

Our nation is filthy!

Our religions preach peace

Yet we start ethnic conflicts over ordinary meat.

Our religions teach truth & honesty

Yet white-colour robberies & corruption are our daily bread.

Bribery & blatant thievery from politicians have become the norm.

The same political heads that violently win power

Are the same that attend churches,shrines & mosques

To thank their God for the victory.

Amazing!

These same politicians & civil servants who financially haemorrhage

The state during weekdays

Are the same that pay tithes & offerings on those proceeds on Sundays.

The same worker that plays truancy at work during weekdays

Is the same that embarks on 40 days fasting & prayers

 For promotion & increment in salaries at work.

That man who sleeps around with women

Is the same that prays to marry a virgin one day.

We always appear religious

But are far from being spiritual.

If just 1% of us practice what our various religions preach

This country would have been a paradise for us all.

We delight in religion as humans.

We love the doctrines & formalities associated them.

We appear religious at all times

But within our heart of hearts

We’re filthy!,filthy!,filthy!

STILL WANT TO BE GHANAIAN? THEN SORRY, YOU CAN'T BE POOR!

STILL WANT TO BE GHANAIAN?

THEN SORRY, YOU CAN’T BE POOR!

Dear occupiers of this great country.

You’ve been in this country for so long a time.

Some of you even had their placenta buried here

Yet you don’t really want to behave as citizens.

You’ve been voting for ages.

You’ve paid your taxes regularly.

You possess National Identification cards

And even passports of the land.

Yet, you still aren’t Ghanaians enough.

If you really want to be Ghanaian

Then you must ‘pay before complain’.

Forget about my campaign promises to make your lives comfortable.

Ignore the fact that your taxes are being misapplied.

Just take your mind off the financial wastages of my appointees.

Just pay before complain.

Third-party insurance premium will be hiked ridiculously.

Don’t complain

Because your complaints will surely fall on rocky ears.

Just pay.

Water & electricity supplies will never be regular.

Yet tariffs will be reviewed upwards at the least opportunity.

Don’t bother to complain

Just pay

Fuel prices will never be stable.

They’ll be galloping every fortnight

Like horses on heat.

I will remove all subsidies but maintain the excessive taxes.

Do not waste your saliva complaining

Just pay.

The cedi will rapidly depreciate against the dollar

Like shea butter under the Navrongo sun.

No need to complain.

Just pay

Port charges will be increased uncharitably.

Just pay

You can complain later.

Public hospital charges will be increased illogically

Without parliamentary approval.

Don’t bother yourself complaining.

Just pay else you’ll die alone.

I don’t even seek medical attention in this country anyway.

VAT & other taxes will be increased irrationally.

New taxes will also be slapped on feeding bottles,

Baby foods, chewing sticks, skipping ropes & condoms.

Don’t even waste your breath complaining.

Just pay

Salaries will however increase annually at a limping tortoise’s pace.

This country owes billions

But we’re still contracting more loans for abstract projects.

Those debts need to be repaid.

They’re not mine to pay

They’re yours to service.

Whether you complain or not

You must & you will pay.

This is a blessed nation

Not a United Nations’ camp for refugees & the homeless.

This isn’t Dr. Kwame Nkrumah’s Ghana

Where the interest of the populace came first.

This is prepaid Ghana

Where individual & political party interests reign supreme.

If you insist on being Ghanaian

Then I’m very sorry to let you know

That you have no right to be poor.

You must pay!

DANCE WITH MY FATHER (to the prodigal fathers out there)

DANCE WITH MY FATHER

We dreamt of a father who kissed his children goodnight

But woke up to the realization that

Our father barely stays home at night.

We pictured a father who took his children to school each day

But came to reality & realized our father leaves home before 5am.

Money indeed runs a home

And work generates that money.

But I wish those two would never come between us.

Of what use is money

When the home is unstable?

Of what essence are gifts

When love has grown cold?

Of what significance are lavish holidays abroad

When fatherly love has faded?

Of what need is a kingsize bed

When sleep is hard to come by?

We have a mother who wakes us up each day.

What we need now is a father who’ll kiss us goodnight.

You complained bitterly of your father, our grandfather

Who was never there for you.

Why are you making us see our grandfather in our father?

Where did we go wrong as children?

Where have we faulted as your family?

We want to grow with you, our father.

We want to hear you pray at the dinner table each day.

We want to laugh with you behind the TV screen every weekend.

We're desperate for our teachers to know we have a father.

We've grieved enough with our mother.

All we want from this day onward is to dance with our father.