ENGAGEMENT LIST

ENGAGEMENT LIST

Her family’s engagement list was almost two A4 pages long.

It was replete with items that could easily qualify

For a drinking spot’s shopping list.

The mere sight of it sent my libido into coma.

Joy Dadi bitters - 2 bottles

J.H Henkes schnapps - 2 bottles

Brandy - 2 bottles

Dry gin - 2 bottles

Locally brewed gin - 2 gallons

Palm Wine - 2 kegs

Whiskey - 2 bottles

Beer - 2 cartons

Stout - 2 cartons

Saki(Rice wine) - 2 bottles

1 white billy-goat with black hind legs
1 white fowl that lays brown eggs

Gift for father-in-law (Should include Jonny Walker whiskey)

Gift for mother-in-law (Preferably washing machine)

Gift for brother-in-law (Preferably hostel fee & Sebago)

Gift for favourite auntie (Preferably rent for 3 months)

Hymnal (Hard copy with soft copy on a black 64gig Scandisk pendrive)

1 Saturday Night dusting powder…

On and on the list went

Amazing!

Scanning through the list, my eyes got puzzled.

I kept wondering…

‘Is this actually an engagement list

Or a shopping list for a drinking spot cum pepper soup joint?’

‘Are they virtually selling off their daughter

Or they’re just making me pay for her feeding cost since kindergarten?’

Hmmm….

How can a young man like me,

Whose take-home-pay isn't even enough to take him home

Get married decently?

How do they expect a lad

Who’s still trying hard to find his feet in life

Cough out these strangulating items?

No wonder ex-aspiring husbands

Like Haruna, Makafui & Tony

Have lost their appetites for marriage of late.

I wish I could take the queen of my heart to the altar.

I wish I could have an angel to call my wife.

I wish I could impregnate Papa Goro’s daughter in wedlock.

I wish I could wrap my arms around her every single night.

But with this engagement list

That can even cause a crab to frown,

How can I get married?