STATE OF THE NATION'S RETROGRESS,2015

STATE OF THE NATION’S RETROGRESS,2015

Fellow Ghanaians,

I wish to bring to the attention of this great nation

The current State of the Nation’s Address.

I would like to thank you all

For coming out in your numbers to vote me to serve you.

I have served you honourably

And this is the current state of the nation you handed over to me.

I know you’re all eager to hear about the state of our electricity.

We can all attest to the fact that the power situation had been remarkable

Before I took over at the helm of affairs.

Our elders say ‘No condition is permanent’

So I wasn’t expecting you to expect regular power supply throughout the year.

Allowing consistent flow of power for domestic & industrial use

Would be quite detrimental to my election campaigns next year.

My party will have no concrete message to campaign with.

Restoring power in the election year will surely favour our quest.

A fish wouldn’t appreciate the comfort in the water it freely swims in

Till it has move from the water to fire and back.

Electricity will surely be restored in election.

Please bear with my hardworking engineers.

Power is in the pipeline.

***

I will set up a new ministry.

‘Ministry for Tracking Presidential Promises’

To monitor & alert me on all promises I make.

The truth of the matter is,

I forget about my promises right after my speech is done.

***

Various contracts have been awarded

For new hospitals across the nation.

Over 20 new hospitals with state of the arts facilities

Shall be constructed before elections next year.

My ultimate aim is to make sure that there are more hospitals

Than KVIPs in the country.

Don’t ask me where monies for the projects will come from

Because I’m as lost as you are.

But God will provide.

***

I promise to complete the Accra-Kumasi Highway before 6^th March

I promise to make Kwame Nkrumah Circle a tourist site by June 4^th

I promise to transform the Odaw River into a Presidential Resort before Easter

I promise to make sure the lawns in front of the Flagstaff House

Are made to look more like lawns than hunting sites.

I promise to make my vice president very well known to Ghanaians

Because it appears some students in SHS don’t even know him.

I promise to put Ghana on OLX.com…Ei sorry

I promise to…..errmmm…what should even promise again?

***

I had wanted to end my presentation in peace.

But I know you people are eager to know what I am doing about corruption.

Well, as one of our ex-presidents once said,

‘Corruption is as old Adam’.

So I want to ask the nation one simple question,

‘Why would you want to fight something which is

Far,far older than you & your great,great grandfathers?’

If teachers are refusing to take their rewards in heaven

And doctors are also refusing to do that,

How do you expect politicians to take their rewards there?

What if some of them don’t qualify for heaven?

God bless Ghana,

God bless the timid people of Ghana,

God bless us all.

Thank you.