LAND OF 1001 BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE

LAND OF 1001 BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE

This is our land!

Our beloved land of milk and honey

A land graciously embedded with precious minerals and timber

Tetteh Quarshie cocoa and crude oil in abundance

Irrespective of individual academic statuses and social standings

We have a common national treasure that sets us apart as Ghanaians

These make us the happiest group of people on earth

These are our daily ‘beautiful nonsense’

They are rooted firm and deep in us

They make some people wonder at times

They drive others crazy

Others cannot help but admire us

No matter what people think or say about it

They are our unique identity as Ghanaians

We just cannot help it!

Whenever electricity is restored after a blackout

We yell instantaneously in jubilation ‘YIEEEEEEEE....!!! ’

We wash our hands with water alone before meals

But wash with water and soap after meals

We play dirges at funerals when the body is laid in state
Right after burial, our funerals turn into carnivals

We call it ‘Gbonyo party’

When our police officers arrest drivers for motor offences

The drivers are offered two options on the spot

‘Do you want to go court or you want us to settle it here?’

Woe betides anyone who chooses the first option!

We have loads of respect for our animals to the extent that

Our pigs are called Charles

We call our rats Jones

While our cats are generally known as Joseph

Isn’t that breathtaking?

Right here in our wonderful country

Every toothpaste is referred to as ‘pepsodent’

We call all cooking oils ‘frytol’

Every detergent is ‘omo’

All soft drinks are ‘fanta’

Every canned mackerel is ‘tinapa’

All teabags are ‘lipton’

Every chocolate drink is ‘milo’
All water storage tanks are 'polytank'

The usual chorus of our service providers is

‘Every inconvenience caused is deeply regretted’

In movies, we call protagonists ‘blowmers’

While antagonists are ‘killers’

Aren’t we sweet enough?

Most of our local soccer clubs get their names

By combining names of towns with that of soccer teams abroad

We have teams like Kade Liverpool, Ashaiman Barcelona

Kwadaso Esperance and Kpando West Ham

We give local touches to exotic names and make them Ghanaian

We bear names like Kwame Patrick, Kofi Cole, Yaw Lee

Adwoa Rosalinda, Ayitey Canada and Akosua Esmeralda

Don’t you love our Ghana?

These sweet ‘nonsense’ flood our hearts with endless joy

These grant us our biometric identity as Ghanaians

What a country!

There is definitely no place like Ghana!!!