LAND OF 1001 BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE

LAND OF 1001 BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE

This is our land!

Our beloved land of milk and honey

A land graciously embedded with precious minerals and timber

Tetteh Quarshie cocoa and crude oil in abundance

Irrespective of individual academic statuses and social standings

We have a common national treasure that sets us apart as Ghanaians

These make us the happiest group of people on earth

These are our daily ‘beautiful nonsense’

They are rooted firm and deep in us

They make some people wonder at times

They drive others crazy

Others cannot help but admire us

No matter what people think or say about it

They are our unique identity as Ghanaians

We just cannot help it!

Whenever electricity is restored after a blackout

We yell instantaneously in jubilation ‘YIEEEEEEEE....!!! ’

We wash our hands with water alone before meals

But wash with water and soap after meals

We play dirges at funerals when the body is laid in state
Right after burial, our funerals turn into carnivals

We call it ‘Gbonyo party’

When our police officers arrest drivers for motor offences

The drivers are offered two options on the spot

‘Do you want to go court or you want us to settle it here?’

Woe betides anyone who chooses the first option!

We have loads of respect for our animals to the extent that

Our pigs are called Charles

We call our rats Jones

While our cats are generally known as Joseph

Isn’t that breathtaking?

Right here in our wonderful country

Every toothpaste is referred to as ‘pepsodent’

We call all cooking oils ‘frytol’

Every detergent is ‘omo’

All soft drinks are ‘fanta’

Every canned mackerel is ‘tinapa’

All teabags are ‘lipton’

Every chocolate drink is ‘milo’
All water storage tanks are 'polytank'

The usual chorus of our service providers is

‘Every inconvenience caused is deeply regretted’

In movies, we call protagonists ‘blowmers’

While antagonists are ‘killers’

Aren’t we sweet enough?

Most of our local soccer clubs get their names

By combining names of towns with that of soccer teams abroad

We have teams like Kade Liverpool, Ashaiman Barcelona

Kwadaso Esperance and Kpando West Ham

We give local touches to exotic names and make them Ghanaian

We bear names like Kwame Patrick, Kofi Cole, Yaw Lee

Adwoa Rosalinda, Ayitey Canada and Akosua Esmeralda

Don’t you love our Ghana?

These sweet ‘nonsense’ flood our hearts with endless joy

These grant us our biometric identity as Ghanaians

What a country!

There is definitely no place like Ghana!!!

DILUTED GHANAIANS(IN PIDGIN)

DILUTED GHANAIANS

So what kraa be we naa wonna own?

What we go fit call wonna own plus vim?

How we manage turn caretakers for wonna own country inside?

Why sey we be tenants for wonna own land top?

Ebi sey Kwame Nkrumah waste en time for nothing

Or sey we no know what be good give we?

After over 50 years of independence

We still dey live on Kwame Nkrumah en old glory

What be the essence of all the school we go?

Ebi sey we learn nothing

Or ebi sey we no get any sense of national pride?

Why sey we no dey fit do anything on wonna own?

Wey country kraa this?

God ankasa bless we plus cocoa,coffee,minerals and things

But so,so begging edey jum we

Chinese people come take over wonna industrial sector

Them naa dey rule wonna retail sector

Plus them ma internationally-certified  inferior goods

Ailomost everything for Ghana now be ‘Made in China’

Go Agbogbloshie den Makola market go see

Chinese people dey sell everything

From common bamboo yele pona to charlewotey

Lebanese people dey control prices for the food crop market top

Indians den the British dey pull strings on wonna educational sector

Nigerians come dey rule wonna music den movie industries

South Africans den Canadians dey drive wonna mining sphere

Wonna oil den gas sector dier, I no wan talk demma matter

We dey invite foreign contractors for ordinary road construction

Wonna own national budget be funded from abroad

Indians wey dem come pay for wonna own presidential palace construction

We dey go seek foreign aid come build public toilet

Ordinary public toilet ooo!!

We no get ‘shame’ for wonna national vocabulary inside?

What kraa be wonna own for this country inside?

 What we go fit do without external hands?

Aside wonna national debt den the azonto dance

What again we go fit call wonna own?

What kraa be wonna own?

 

SOMEONE SHOULD ASK THE MAKER

SOMEONE SHOULD ASK THE MAKER

Someone should please ask

Please ask Moses

Ask him to humbly enquire from the Maker

Please entreat Joshua

Entreat him to find out

Plead with him to find out from the Maker

Whether He sent His messengers

To go lead His people to the Promised land

Or to mislead them to their graves?

Let them ask the Maker

Whether He sent His servants

To go and win souls or to win property?

Someone should please ask

Ask John the Baptist

Plead with Paul of Tarsus or Simon Peter

Ask them

Find out from them

Find out if they were sent forth to deliver the oppressed from bondage

Or to oppress the delivered into bondage?

Ask Bartholomew, Inquire from Timothy

Find out from them

Find out if they were commissioned

To preach sexual abstinence and chastity before marriage

Or to engage in sexual negotiation within the church?

Please ask Jesus

Ask Him

Ask Him to tell us why He was sent

Was He sent to save the lost

Or He was sent to prosper the leadership of the church

At the expense of the congregation?

Someone should please ask

Please ask the Maker for answers

Please ask Him

For it appears the current messengers have forgotten the message

Someone should please ask the Maker!

I WILL WRITE MY POEM

I WILL WRITE MY POEM

I want to write a poem

A poem to tell you of how deep

My heart yearns to express itself

I want to write a poem

A poem to amplify the nagging thoughts

Of my saddled heart

The tip of my pen has grown in reluctance

My ink has opted to take a nap in battle

My paper has suddenly metamorphosed

Into a Judas Iscariot

The odds have connived against me

Nonetheless

I shall not be earthquaked nor tsunamied

Even if inks willingly opt to dry up

And papers fail to accommodate my thoughts

My heart will never let my emotions down

The thoughts that linger in my psyche

Run more intimate

Than the romance between the pen and its paper

The yearning of my spirit to express itself

Supersedes the quenchless thirst of the Sahara

My hands will never grow weary

Neither shall my voice box wail for sympathy

For I know my thoughts will never disappoint

My emotions will never evaporate

My zeal will never peel

My will shall never ill

My passion will never kowtow

I shall write my poem

Oh yes!

I will always write my poem