WHERE LIES OUR THINKING CAP?

WHERE LIES OUR THINKING CAP?

#ACCRA FLOODS

She used to be Ghana our Motherland.

Now, she has become Ghana our Sorryland.

We’ve descended from a nation of plenty

To a people of pity.

The rainy season should have been a season of joy to us

Yet, it turns out to be that of grief and sorrow.

Each season,

Year in,year out,

Our city gets flooded by the most minimal of rains.

Just 30 minutes of drizzle is enough to submerge this city of ours.

Floods kill our loved ones each rainy season.

It destroys our properties every single year

Yet, we never seem to learn from our pains.

We tend to forget our sorrows

The very moment the sun starts to shine.

If a government official who should be fighting

For the people’s welfare rather turns around to tell them that

‘Even Houston, Texas in America gets flooded’

Then it’s obvious our leadership can’t help us.

The bearded mayor of the city seems clueless to the city’s plights.

The other authorities in power appear not to bother at all.

The best they usually do is to visit the areas

Destroyed by floods & offer empty assurances to victims.

They’ll return the following year to offer another set of assurances.

They only need us for elections & nothing more!

We ought to reason up!

Why do we build on waterways

When we’re aware that’ll surely enhance flooding?

Why do we continue to dump plastic waste into open drains

When we’re aware the drains will get choked in the end?

In 21^st century Accra,

Why do we even proceed to construct open drains in the first place?

Why do we persist in erecting structures at unauthorized locations

When we’re aware of its dire impact to the entire city?

It’s in our power as a people to avert needless disasters.

It rests in our bosom to ward off needless destruction of our properties.

We have the ability to control the annual floods that afflict us.

Why are we rather allowing the floods to control us?

Why should we allow the rain which ought to be a blessing

To rather bring us grief & sorrow every single year?

Where lies our thinking cap???

I REMEMBER MAMA

I REMEMBER MAMA

I do remember a mother.

I remember a mother

Who had to wash bed sheets every single day

Because her little boy constantly wee-weed on his bed at night.

I remember a mother

Whose toddler wasted over an hour of her precious time each morning

Because he had to be lured & cajoled to take breakfast.

I remember a mother

Who had to chase her naked son around

Because her son did not want to take his bath.

I remember a mother

Who was almost always being invited by her child’s teachers

As her son in primary 2 had caused one mischief or another.

I remember that mother

Who had to buy a new pair of shoes with her very last pesewa

For one of her son’s classmates when her own son’s shoes were worn out.

Why?

Her son had angrily thrown his classmate’s shoes into a septic tank.

What a son!

I remember a mother

Who fails to open her shop even on market days

Just to attend Parent Teacher Association meetings in her son’s school.

I remember a mother

Who wept her heart out profusely

When she saw her ward’s B.E.C.E results.

He had aggregate 36 anyway.

I remember a certain mother

Who had to sacrifice her working capital

To make sure her son advanced his education.

I do remember a mother

Whose child’s health was of more concern to her than hers

And whose child’s wealth was of more interest to her than her own.

I really remember that mother

Who caned the devil out of her son

Who was beginning to exhibit signs of adolescent stupidy.

I remember a mother

Who managed to squeeze milk & honey out of rocks

Simply to make sure her children slept with smiles on their faces.

And awwww….

How can I forget that mother

Who found two pieces of Panther Condoms

In her eighteen year old son’s left socks

And mustered the courage to ask him

‘My boy, a pack of condom contains three pieces.

What miracle did you perform with the missing one?’

She took the chance to engage him on sex education anyway.

I remember you mama

I really remember you this and every other day

In an appreciative & happy way.

***

Happy mother’s day to all the lovely mothers out there

Who persisted in love and support for their children

Despite all their stubborn & foolish ways…

MADIBA!,MADIBA!!, YOUR CHILDREN ARE LOST

MADIBA!, MADIBA!!

YOUR CHILDREN ARE LOST!

Madiba,Madiba

You’ve been gone for such a short time

Leaving your children behind with freedom.

Freedom from the offensive stench of apartheid

Which made the prison walls your sanctuary for decades.

You bequeathed your children a stunning African nation.

One which most African countries looked up to.

A country built with the additional sweat and toils of other nationals.

A country that made other Africans believe

That all is not lost for the continent.

Madiba, you made us aware that

‘There was nothing like the white race or black race

But only the human race.’

Today, your children have suddenly forgotten.

They have forgotten where they came from.

They have suddenly forgotten who they once cried to

During the dark days of apartheid in South Africa.

They have cruelly turned their backs to their fellow Africans.

The same Zimbaweans, Congolose,Ghanaians,Nigerians & other Africans

Who stood strong & firm for them in their days of oppression.

They have now tagged them as ‘FOREIGNERS!’

They are slaughtering their fellow African brothers in cold blood

Like Chinese chickens for export.

They want all ‘foreigners’ out of South Africa.

Their fellow black Africans have become lice in their afro hair.

Amazing!

Did you tell them what your friend Dr. Kwame Nkrumah told you,

That ‘the independence of Ghana alone is meaningless

Unless it is linked up with the total liberation of the African continent’?

Did you remind them of what their fellow blood brother Lucky Dube said,

That ‘We’re one people but different colours’?

Did you inform them of what the legend Bob Marley said,

That Africa must unite?

What of what you said to the rest of the world,

That ‘freedom would be meaningless without security

In the home and in the streets’?

How about what you said after your release from jail,

That ‘no one is born hating another person

Because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion.

People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate,

They can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally

To the human heart than the opposite’?

Are they aware of this?

If they can’t embrace their fellow black man

How do they expect to fight racism from the whites?

Your bosom friend, Osagyefo Dr. Kwame Nkrumah boldly asserted to the world

That ‘the BLACK MAN is capable of managing his own affairs’

Is this what he actually meant?

Xenophobia, Afrophobia or whatever?

Your children want to be at par with their fellow whites

How can that be possible with such animalistic behaviour?

You fought a great battle for freedom,Madiba.

You built a wonderful nation with open arms to all Africans.

Unfortunately, some of your children have opted to be vampires & barbarians

Than South Africans with brains.

Madiba,Madiba,Madiba,

Your children do not want you to rest in peace.

They have completely lost it!

GHANA 2017........WEEEEEEEER DODGE!

GHANA 2017………WEEEEEER DODGE!

Papa Ghana,

You know as much as I do

That the year 2008 is past and gone.

Gone with the wind.

Yet, the ghost of CAN 2008 is yet to rest in peace in your history.

I never intend having it in mind

But the mere mention of the name ‘W oyome’

Is more than enough to revive the ghost of that tournament.

That ghost that never says die.

What baffles me is that

Seven long years after CAN 2008,

You’re yet to fully clean up the mess left behind.

It’s been seven donkey years since AFCON 2008

Nonetheless, you’re yet to recover from

The financial and reputational haemorrhage you suffered.

You spent fortunes in building and renovating national stadia

For the tournament in 2008.

We’re in 2015 and those facilities are already looking like

Osagyefo Dr. Kwame Nkrumah’s first baby court.

Why are you striving as a nation to host a jamboree

When you’re yet to fully clear the mess from the previous one?

You’re bidding to host AFCON 2017 against Gabon and Algeria.

Those guys are wrapped in wet blankets.

Why do you also want to jump over the fire they’re jumping over

With cotton wool in your anus?

Your once vibrant domestic football league is currently singing

‘Come back,come back, come back to me’.

Countryman Songo is dancing moonwalk with

‘Sika diey nie basaa,Ogya nshiwu,Ogya nshi wu,Ogya nshi wu!’

Your power sector is also sadly whispering

‘Do something new in my life’.

Your infinite creditors are queuing up at your door singing

‘We are marching to our debtors’,

While your local currency is silently humming

‘Killing me softly’.

If there’s any advice a well-meaning friend will offer you,

It’ll be for you to humbly withdraw your AFCON 2017 bid.

Anyway, sorry for bothering you with this long advice

Because information reaching me from Cairo indicates that

Alhaji Issah Hayatou says tweaaaaaa to Ghana 2017!

Cheers… Gabon

STATE OF THE NATION'S RETROGRESS,2015

STATE OF THE NATION’S RETROGRESS,2015

Fellow Ghanaians,

I wish to bring to the attention of this great nation

The current State of the Nation’s Address.

I would like to thank you all

For coming out in your numbers to vote me to serve you.

I have served you honourably

And this is the current state of the nation you handed over to me.

I know you’re all eager to hear about the state of our electricity.

We can all attest to the fact that the power situation had been remarkable

Before I took over at the helm of affairs.

Our elders say ‘No condition is permanent’

So I wasn’t expecting you to expect regular power supply throughout the year.

Allowing consistent flow of power for domestic & industrial use

Would be quite detrimental to my election campaigns next year.

My party will have no concrete message to campaign with.

Restoring power in the election year will surely favour our quest.

A fish wouldn’t appreciate the comfort in the water it freely swims in

Till it has move from the water to fire and back.

Electricity will surely be restored in election.

Please bear with my hardworking engineers.

Power is in the pipeline.

***

I will set up a new ministry.

‘Ministry for Tracking Presidential Promises’

To monitor & alert me on all promises I make.

The truth of the matter is,

I forget about my promises right after my speech is done.

***

Various contracts have been awarded

For new hospitals across the nation.

Over 20 new hospitals with state of the arts facilities

Shall be constructed before elections next year.

My ultimate aim is to make sure that there are more hospitals

Than KVIPs in the country.

Don’t ask me where monies for the projects will come from

Because I’m as lost as you are.

But God will provide.

***

I promise to complete the Accra-Kumasi Highway before 6^th March

I promise to make Kwame Nkrumah Circle a tourist site by June 4^th

I promise to transform the Odaw River into a Presidential Resort before Easter

I promise to make sure the lawns in front of the Flagstaff House

Are made to look more like lawns than hunting sites.

I promise to make my vice president very well known to Ghanaians

Because it appears some students in SHS don’t even know him.

I promise to put Ghana on OLX.com…Ei sorry

I promise to…..errmmm…what should even promise again?

***

I had wanted to end my presentation in peace.

But I know you people are eager to know what I am doing about corruption.

Well, as one of our ex-presidents once said,

‘Corruption is as old Adam’.

So I want to ask the nation one simple question,

‘Why would you want to fight something which is

Far,far older than you & your great,great grandfathers?’

If teachers are refusing to take their rewards in heaven

And doctors are also refusing to do that,

How do you expect politicians to take their rewards there?

What if some of them don’t qualify for heaven?

God bless Ghana,

God bless the timid people of Ghana,

God bless us all.

Thank you.

HAVE YOUR SAY,I'LL HAVE MY WAY

HAVE YOUR SAY,

I’LL HAVE MY WAY

My fellow countrymen & women,

You have been demonstrating for God knows how long.

You have been calling me names in anger.

You call in to radio programmes and vent your spleen on me.

You express your frustrations on social and print media.

Day in, day out you form various pressure groups,

Anti-corruption & accountability fora to lash out at me.

Anas Aremeyaw Anas & Manasseh Azure Awuni

Keep conducting painstaking investigations

To expose ‘corrupt’ officials in State institutions.

I commend them for their efforts.

My propaganda team will respond to them accordingly.

I’ll urge you to forget about qualifications and working experiences

Because party officials will occupy lucrative State positions.

The party comes first.

I know most decision that I take appear weird

But I humbly advice you not to waste your breath on that.

I campaigned with borrowed funds.

I distributed party paraphernalia & gifts during my campaigns,

And even gave some of you cash to vote me to power.

For your information,

I did not get those funds on a silver platter.

Politics is a major investment in this country.

People heavily invested in my campaigns.

No one invests in projects to make loses.

Even NGOs & churches expect returns on their investments.

Those who funded my campaigns ought to be rewarded.

The least I can do is to reward them with contracts.

Whether they properly carry them out or not,

They must be paid.

I’ll set up commissions to investigate corruption allegations.

But expect no sanctions against my men.

They’re reaping the fruits of their faithfulness to the party.

Forget about my round ministers in square ministries

For the party man deserves his post.

The party foot soldiers who fought for the party

And the numerous party communicators who lied to win power

Must occupy positions in government

To have a bite of the taxpayers’ cake.

You can demonstrate from January 1^st to December 31^st.

It’ll keep your bodies healthy anyway.

Journalists can ask all the useless questions

But my ministers won’t answer them

Because those journalists are not auditors.

Ghanaians also have very short memories.

You can make all the noise

But at the end of the day,

I am the government in power

And you’re the populace under my power.

You can have your say

But I’ll definitely have my way!